Christmas Meal

A month or so back the people from the local munch mooted the idea of going for a Christmas meal in one of the restaurants of my little town. I think they had done something similar previously but I had decided to sit it out as, while I don’t mind being out in public in places removed from home, I wasn’t too sure about going out on my own doorstep and running the risk of being recognised. Previously I’d passed reasonably well although I had caught a few telling comments (normally after I had spoken) but the idea of being told in a close environment  was a very different preposition.

I allowed myself however to be talked into going and told myself that it was an important step that I needed to take especially if I was wanting to be comfortable enough as a girl where I could go out without fear, or at least without care, of people outing me. The last couple of munches had seen us change venues from the private (and freezing) upstairs room of one pub to another which was a little more open (and a little more warmer) so I guess I was getting more used to being seen out and about in my little town.

The fact that we were going with a large group was also reassuring in that if anything did go wrong there were at least a dozen intimidating Dom/mes who would make sure I was looked after. Six also went out and bought an outfit for me to wear which looked really pretty. I do try and buy my own clothes and event bought a lovely coat at Primark recently (Christmas is such a good time for buying ‘presents’!) but I do have a habit of buying things I wished suited me or that fit my alternative look then what would blend in with mainstream.

Six picked out a very cute top for me that was sexy while at the same time working well to cover the less wonderful aspects of my figure. These worked very well with a pair of leggings and my everything boots (the boots I wear with everything!)  and the top was long enough that it covered my bottom but not the tops of my legs which looked really sexy.

When we arrived at the restaurant the place was really busy with lots of other people having chosen to have their Christmas meals there. Our table was on the far side of a crowded bar and I was very shy about pushing my way past people at such close quarters but one of the guys kindly took me by the hand and led me through. I was able to find a corner at the bottom of the table a little out of the way which suited me well.

The meal itself was a bit of a rip off but it was enjoyable enough and as far as I’m aware I didn’t get told dispute having to push my way past many people at close quarters.  All my friends were very encouraging and I think I need to start believing them. Part of my problem is I always think that any time someone looks at me they’re telling me and so I imidiately look away and avoid eye contact so that this doesn’t happen. However, people always look at people, and then they look away and my evasiveness only draws attention to any perceived differences.

Anyway, the part was a definite step forward and I am certainly gaining confidence little be little. After the meal we went back to six’s for the afterparty. That, however, I think will have to wait for another blog.